"Remember this: Fire in the Kitchen" - Mak Yah
When there's a fire in your own kitchen, it's your job to put em out. Do whatever it takes; water, extinguisher or blow em out if it's possible. Because it's your house, and it's your kitchen and you started it. Only call the firemen when it spreads. Only THEY know what to do.
That's marriage according to my aunt. whatever happens between you and your partner, stays between you and your partner. Seek help from the expertise (read: Jabatan Agama Islam) ONLY if it gets worse. Nobody else can help you.